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     Vol.3 Issue4

Preparing for the Realities of Marriage
by Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine
How ludicrous would it be for a person to hold a grand opening for a new business then leave for vacation the next day or go to a job interview without having read the job description? Equally absurd is the way many people get married each year without any knowledge of or preparation for the realities of marriage. Couples make elaborate wedding and honeymoon plans but none for a life together. Additionally, many are looking for spouses to marry without looking at their responsibilities in a marriage.
Based on fairy tales spun by the media and pop culture, young women dream of finding their Prince Charming and living happily ever after. We think that once we are married, everything will just sort itself out. Some of us think that marriage is a solution or an escape or that our spouses will "complete us."
Compounding this are the values of mainstream society and their effect on the psyche of adolescents. Years of struggling with issues of dating and pre-marital sex in school as well as a constant bombardment through films and television of unrealistic images of what love, sex and marriage are have affected our outlook on marriage and the opposite sex. So, when the time comes to get married, we often carry unrealistic expectations of what being married will be like and how our spouses will be.
Many young Muslims are not prepared for marriage and have not cultivated the skills to create a lasting relationship. While the general American population has the world's highest divorce rate, 48.6 percent, Muslims in the United States come in not too far behind at 33 percent. One in three Muslims marriage here will end in divorcenot surprising considering we are living in a "divorce culture" where independence and individual happiness often come first.

SPECIAL REPORT Marriage ...A Spiritual Partnership For many women, marriage is the most important relationship of their lives and the most challenging. We often enter this union with fairy tale expectations, unrealistic objectives and very little preparation. It takes understanding, self-reflection, clear expectations and much work to transform this "half of our religion" into an amazing spiritual journey. by Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine & Rose Rashad FEATURES Passing the Baton Her passion was social justice. Sharifa Alkhateeb worked long and hard for Muslim women in America. by Tayyibah Taylor A Place to Pray Behind a curtain, up on a balcony, in a separate room with a TV monitor or in the main prayer hall--where can we pray? by Ruth Nasrullah To the Top of Africa Climbing to the top of Mount Kenya and Mount Kilimanjaro takes tenacity and strength, but the rewards are many. Just ask climbers and Lubayna Fawcett. by Renee Warner Designing Women Muslim women working in the field of architecture are reshaping the way we live. by Eisa Nefetari Ulen A Matter of Fate One wrong turn, and Wafa Dabbagh ended up as the first woman in hijab in the Canadian armed forces. by Katja Tupak A Spiritual Embrace By using her faith and belief in Allah and Islam, one woman living in recovery overcomes her desire for drugs and alcohol. by Tayyibah Taylor The Scientific Method When women in North America look at Islam, they do so with critical eyes and minds, and they refuse to accept it as their way of life until they have thoroughly investigated it. by Ruth Nasrullah Fear Factor For those who suffer panic attacks, keeping calm when the world is crashing down is not an easy task. by Najiyah Diane Helwani Child's Play Child¹s Play Toys, games and books created specifically for Muslim children bring smiles to the faces of excited children and relieved parents. by Mahvish Akhtar & Dujanah Descartes Home Schooling As more Muslim parents seek viable alternatives to public schools, home schooling is becoming more and more popular in our community. by Catherine England LIFESTYLE Destinations Jewels of the Sea by Kaukab Khalid Decor The Heavenly Art of Painted Glass by Nuzalita Well-Being Heavenly Healing-- A Look at Prophetic Medicine by Tabassum Firoz Menu Breaking Bread-- These mouth-watering bread recipes are for those who are longing for some filling carbohydrates. by Syeda Hamdani and by Nabiela Hussian . FashionCanadian Style --A young Canadian designer is making her mark on the fashion scene. DEPARTMENTS Deen In Rhythmic Measure A look at tajweed, the science of Qur'anic recitation by Hoda Yousef Shahadah Submission From the Heart by Vuslat Topuzoglu Book Club Aliah Schleifer's Mary The Blessed Virgin of Islam. Global Voices The Reluctant Hero --A conversation with Nobel Peace Prize winner, Shirin Ebadi. by Anisa Mehdi Poetry Pop Islam versus the Real Struggle by Maliha Balala Insomnia by Shannon Staloch Reflections A Voyage to Spirituality by Najeeba A. Davis Point of View Whose Shari'ah Is It Anyway? by Raheel Raza Ayah Surah Al Ankabut, Ayat 41